the curtain falls down

i closed a chapter of my life yesterday or in a more poetic manner...the curtain fell down on one of the acts of the play of my life...as shakespear put it...

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.

Every act has a end..that end maybe a happy one, a sad one, a very emotional one..mine was full off betrayal...of all the unkindest cuts,the one that hurts the most is the one inflicted by one's friends, friends whom one loves and cares for, more than anything in this world.

how can people be so thoughtless...i mean people who one thinks cant hurt a fly...would with one act destroy a person...his confidence...his beliefs...his judgement...tear apart the heart and all that blood left behind would be washed away by the tears...tears that keep pouring even as i type this piece around 24hrs later..hoping that this would act as a salve and lessen the grief... but to no respite...

i loved those people for 4years..they were my life... was this the way that i wanted us to go our own ways... as life beakons, everyone must choose his/her life's path... but when standing at the cross-roads with separation in sight...one wants to part from one's friends with the hope that one day we'll all meet..bidding adieu with tears in eyes cause u don't want to walk away... but in the story of my life..the curtain feel with a bang...an ending that even i think the writer had not thought of a contingency plan for... how wrong can one be in judging people... or how bad can one be( in this case - me) to deserve such a thing... i can't think of a reason why what happened,happened. Did i ask for it, was it one of those cruel lessons that life teaches you...one of those lessons that noone wants to learn...one of those lessons that turns one cynical for the rest of his life....wow...seems like i just learnt mine...

It hurts like hell...there is no medicine that can ease away the pain...i just learnt that i am a bad judge... yet inspite of everything...i love those people....i just cant help it...i love them just like a mother loves the child who is standing with a dagger pointed to her heart...(plz pardon the poetic licenses that i av taken...i am just not in the right state of mind)...

well..seems like i'll be ok...just like i av been ok for the last 21yrs.. i'll cry the silent tears that refuse to go away...and then slowly merge into the crowd...but i wish those friends of mine- the very best in life...happiness always....take care...

maybe i am playing the blame-game..why blame others..maybe the person who is wrong is me...i am at fault....they are all so nice people....maybe i should av worked harder...maybe i was wrong in my dealings...maybe i should apologize..may be in the ends it was just a matter of choice(pun unintended)...

so..i again walk the lonely road...with not a person in sight to walk with me,not behind,not in front but along me.... guess thats the story of my life...
Always alone.